Ex, Why, Zzz

This weekend, I broke up with a long-time on-again off-again boyfriend. We go way back, and it seems our relationship has always been this repeated cycle. Looking back on it, I think of how I knew it was coming each time, but when it finally ended, it was a shock. How could he be out of my life again? Did the last seven months mean nothing?

Some of you may not have known about this relationship, but you probably know him. His name is Daylight Savings Time, or DST. I affectionately refer to him as Dale. And now he just seems a distant memory to me. It was as if one hour he was there, and the next he was gone. He was now an Ex. Again. What's also bizarre is as he left, I thought to myself, I wish I could get back that hour of my life. And miraculously, my prayers were answered. God works in mysterious ways. But alas, it was a consolation prize. A parting gift with an expiration date.

We promised to meet up again when things have settled. We promised each other we'd stay together longer next time... longer than we ever had before. I'm looking forward to that time we'll have together. Let's just hope the extra time doesn't turn into ex-tra strength pain if we separate again. It's bound to happen. Why do I put myself through this? Why do I let him back into my life? Is it because he brightened up my day or seemed to focus on the lighter side of life? He was a sunny fellow, and part of me will miss that quality of his. It's as if the days get darker earlier since he left.

I tried to sleep, but I'm haunted by his ghost, as if by fate, on All Hallows Eve. His ghost had changed some of my clocks but not all of them. A gesture, no doubt, to remind me that he has left and to give me a task that may bring some closure to it all. When I set back those clocks, I'm resetting myself. He may have thrown off my sleep cycle, but I have to move on. I can't live in the past.

I'm sure we'll see each other again, Dale. You are an intrical part of my life. I know there is one state you will not enter, and it's tempting to run there. But I can't. We were meant to be together. Come back to me when you're ready.