Skateboard Pizza Delivery and the Red Light Infinity

When we were young, all disputes related to quantity or degree were resolved with one word. Infinity. Member?

"You are a stupid head!"
"Nuh-uh, you are stupider!"
"You are fifty gajillion times more stupid!"
"Infinity."
"I infinity your infinity!!"
"You can't do that, nuh-uh!"

Ah, good ol days. Fast forward to this evening in my life. Getting to the coffee house to do some work and unwind proved an exercise in patience. As I motored from my home, I realized that the fates were testing me. Testing my faith. They changed every single traffic light in my path to red. If there is anything I detest in this town, it's the asshats on the road and the worst-timed lights this side of everything. I mean, seriously. Every light red? It felt like infinity. An infinity of infinities. And this is our first rainfall since autumn, so everyone resets their idiometers to jackass. It's water mixed with road oil, people! Just gun it and hope for the best! So after the herky-jerky drive of nausea, I think I'm scott free. One block from Aroma Cafe! I dash around the corner and then... who darts out in front of Tyler but a guy wearing a camouflage hoody on a skateboard holding a pizza box...SURIOUSLY. No fooling. What the fook? LOL

So I reward my boiling blood and crankiness with...a frescante filled with two shots of espresso. Wise, Chris, so wise. But in all honesty, I'm basking in the old-timey live music going on behind me and the sugar+whipped cream+espresso drink. And of course, by typing this post, I'm effectively avoiding my work. And I say I come here to avoid distractions...sadly, it works for the most part. Ah, going out in public to leave my distractions behind. Ain't this a crazy world we're making?

2 comments:

Jonathan said...

I lived in Champaign about 5 years ago. The first thing that struck me as odd were the stoplights! The yellow light is only 2 seconds. So not cool. Hope you enjoyed your coffee treat and got some work done.

Allie D. said...

Idiometers set to jackass...LMAO! I fuckin love it, dear. :)