My Lawnmower is a Hoe

When it rains, it pours, and apparently when things break down, they do it in "threes." My furnace decided to call it quits because it lost control, my driver's side window wants to roll down on its own timeline, and my lawnmower is all choked up. I thought my single life afforded me a style that was low maintenance. Now I have a bunch of dramatic machines to contend with. Did the devout Menonites have it right all along? Well, the singles ones at least?

And speaking of manual labor and rough transitions, I did lots of yard work this Sunday. Once things take shape, I hope to post some pictures. Basically, I'm turning my backyard into a fabulous party place! A stone patio, table and furniture, a privacy fence, simple garden areas, and string lights overhead. It'll be sweeeet! This weekend was comprised of lots of edging, digging, herbicidal tendencies... and no mowing! Ol' cranky thing.

And as an off-story, my fiance dodged a bullet today. Serially! She had (what I have coined) a character assassination attempt on her life! Her secretary has put a verbal hit on her, and I won't stand, sit, or dance for it! She basically does the following to my fiance - A) talks smack about her behind her back to others, B) avoids her to not do any work for her, and C) told my fiance to her face she didn't like how she does business! The noive (a la the Cowardly Lion) of this chick!! She better check herself before she wrecks herself because my fiance's gay fiance (me, for those keeping score at home) will lay down the smack on the tarmac. Boom Diggity.

5 comments:

Robert said...

Replace the lawnmower's gas engine with a flywheel. Add some gears that transfer energy from the forward motion of the mower's wheels to the fly wheel. Use a normal pull start. Might need to add a break so that the blade and deck housing can be safely cleaned. This only works with push mowers of course. Riding mowers will need more work and bike pedals.

Allie D. said...

Isn't it fun when it seems like technology conspires against us?

Although I do think you are a cheap bastard for not having that party area ready for when I got out there. Fooker!

Signed,
Craving an Espresso Filet Mignon in Washington

the fiance said...

Re: the lawnmower, I am confident the mussy haired local repairman will git-er-dun as promised.

Re: the character assassination attempt, when you work on a staff of strong minded women who like things to be done a certain way, these sorts of attacks are to be expected. Fortunately documentation (and the higher-ups) are on my side...

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Join Ron Bramlett in the parade of lawn mower bloggers. I chucked it several years ago and bought a hand-operated push mower. So Mennonite. But it never fails. Except for the sinews of entangled grass when it gets meadow-high. Maybe it's time to post my poem of several years ago, "Mowing The Last Lawn."

Army said...

Yeah, I should just get a low emissions cardio work out machine... er, push mower. Maybe after this one blows up for good.

I had a local repair the carbeurator, sharpen the blades, and change an air filter for $50. And he cleaned it up to look brand new!

Robert, if I had a clue about what you wrote, I'd be a different person! Sounds like something they'd do on Junkyard Wars!! LOL

Allie, if only I could have had my backyard paradise ready when you visited. I guess it means you'll have to take another trip out here once it's done!

And Fiance, I appreciate the logical angle, but that beyotch is going DOWN!! : )