The Night of Engagement and Ambiguity

I had one of those nights in which everything seemed to come together into a theme and felt as if it was preordained or remarkably coincidental. I won't try to work out which it is, just enjoy it for what it was. In order to do so, I need to catch you up on a few things, especially the origins of a guy I will refer to as Maybe Single Guy.

Here's the scoop on Maybe Single Guy. MSG is someone who I know at the university and works in another office. We've chatted all of twice during a couple of random meetings on campus. I found out from a friend that he had a boyfriend, so I'm like, figures. He's attractive and has a nice smile. Bonuses! But someone else has dibs... not so good. I'm many things, but not a relationship-wrecker. So these encounters with him took place earlier this year. I saw him at Meijer with Maybe Boyfriend about three weeks ago. I noticed them a few lanes away and was checking out when they left, so we never made eye contact, but I know he saw me. Then about a week later, he emails me about wanting to be more social and asking me to join in if interested. So I'm like, sure, hit me up. Can't hurt to meet other people in town... but I was still a bit intrigued about the intended nature of his communique.

I get an email this morning asking me along to his friend's birthday party. At first I'm apprehensive because of my awkward social phobiette (not quite a full-blown phobia) is certain situations. But after some wise counsel from Sylvia, I realize, fortune favors the bold.

Fast forward to a pre-planned delicious Thai dinner with Becca and KM. The three of us together is a bizarre sight to behold. Take the insanity of the Miss MINI Chambana debacle and multiply generously. So we're chatting on all manner of topics. It comes up that I know someone that works in Becca's environs. We played volleyball a few times, she has a killer serve, and she knows Ambiguously Straight Guy. So I have to ask if he came up in convo, and sure enough he did, and sure enough, Volleyball Pro thinks he's gay. Add to that the verdict from basically everyone else who's come into contact with him, and ASG seems to be the only one who doesn't think he's gay. So that was enlightening, and as I realized later, an omen for the near future.

After our parade insanity, Becca's friends and family from back home checked out the photos, read my blog, and now think she found a new man, Chris. But of course, there's one little hitch, which only her brother had caught onto by purusing my blog. I've got "the gays." But that didn't stop the three of us from riffing about it, and one of us had the wacky idea of taking pictures of us in a park like we just got engaged. Now, normal people would laugh and move on... but we were all like, let's go to a nearby park and totally do this! Shared brain syndrome synched us up perfickly.

Off we go to get ourselves into this hot mess! Becca wants to post these pictures all serious-like and send them to her friends/fam as her engagement photos! We are such DORKS! Check out my Uncle Rico pose second on the left. Ridiculous. KM did some great photog work : )

Then Maybe Single Guy calls to pick me up... by himself. So I'm confused. Did I receive faulty intel about the BF? Did they break up between the Meijer visit and the email (which would make me a potential Rebound Guy)? Or was that a roommate I saw? Maybe it's open relationship week? Whut up?

We head to the party, which is pretty low key, and I meet everyone, and they are nice. After sitting there a while, I'm playing the wallflower, and I noticed Girl Two looks way familiar. Then it clicks! She is totally the ex-girlfriend of Ambiguously Straight Guy!! So I'm like -- your name is ***, right? She's all yeah! And your last name is? She tells me. We've met before, I say. Huh? I met you at Dos Reales with my friend ASG. Oh yeah! You have a really good memory for such a brief encounter!

I didn't elaborate that ASG showed me all these pictures of her, and told me he broke it off because she wanted to be more serious than he did. Good thing I didn't because I think Green Shirt Guy was her new boyfriend. At post-night debrief, Becca asked, is she a lesbian? I said no, but I recall ASG telling me she likes hanging out with gay guys. And she says, um, well yeah! LOL

So we hang out with everyone for a bit, and there are a couple of cuties there -- Birthday Boy and Not Me Chris. The Host tells a story about this 18 year old student of his who is going off to be a porn star. Apparently Mom didn't like this news and kicks Porno Boy to the curb, and The Host plays Big Brother for the kid. It's suggested that he's porn-worthy but not so wise to the ways of the world. A bit later MSG wants to leave because he has issues with The Host. He tells me that The Host has wanted to get with him for a long while but often makes inappropriate comments which isn't cool. At this point, I'm further confused by MSG's status -- sounds more single at this point, right?

We head to movie night at a place I've come to know as the Orgy House. A friend had attended a birthday party there once that morphed into an orgy by the waxing of the moon and heavy consumption of libations. I also know Russian Guy who owns the place is a bit eccentric. But I'm up for anything now.

Apparently movie night usually consists of feel-good gay themed flicks, and the people are lively and at times rowdy (hence the orgy). We enter to see eight guys quietly focusing on a movie that, as it turns out, takes place in Nazi Germany during WWII in a concentration camp. It centers on these two homosexual men who are captured by the Gestapo because they are gay and all they do at the camp is move rocks and talk. I'm sure it's a great movie, but not what we expected and a bit heavy for the night. And Russian Guy says, ooh, Armstrong, so your arms must be strong! He shakes my hand and says, yes, they are strong! I just smile. Sassy old bean! I notice the back wall of the living room is plastered with pictures of semi-nude, half-nude, and fully nude men. Imagine a teen girl's wall filled with Tiger Beat posters of Kirk Cameron and Joey Lawrence -- but replace it with a plethora of naked men. And the hallway beyond was smattered likewise, so there was a whole other level of flesh and muscle to dazzle the eye.

We're there for a while, I noticed a guy who works at Aroma and nod at him, and MSG says he needs to pick up a friend who is staying with him for the night because he has no place in town to stay. Maybe Single Guy drops me off and we're like, let me know when something is going on.

An interesting evening, indeed. Not sure about my feelings for MSG. He was very sensitive to certain social issues, which I understand, but trust me when I say it seemed a bit too reactive. There were easily four instances I can think of during this evening alone. It's not a deal breaker, but I feel a bit on guard because people who are very hypersensitive tend to make melodrama from the mundane. And I don't roll that way. But then, I don't know the true status of Maybe Single Guy, so maybe he's operating from the friend angle only. Regardless, I'm interested in hanging out some more to see what comes of a friendship, relationship, or whatever.

If it doesn't work out, no big whoop. My Plan B is to hitch up with my lovely fiance, Becca : )


Jonathan said...

Congrats on the engagement man! Keep us posted on MSG, if it doesn't work out you title could be a play on "no MSG here." Or something.

Allie D. said...

I want to congratulate you on your impending nuptuals, Uncle Rico. LOL

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

may happy returns to you and 'Becca, or ASG, or MSG, or WIMB (whoever it may be).

the fiance said...

Although I just spent the last 8 hours with you rehashing and debriefing all of the above, I still LOVE to see it in print. You are ricockulous.

Our pictures are insane and I love it.

bkdubya said...

This has got to be a Pulitzer-winning narrative! I'm so jealous that you have events and social interactions and people to which you can assign coy nicknames.

Okay...going back to baseball...