War It Forward

So I'm reading my morning dose of cnn.depressingnews.com and see that Japan is considering a pre-emptive strike on North Korea in response to its missile launch last week and the aggressive stance said launch implies. We all know that Kim Jong Il has a flair for the theatrics (hey, I saw Team America: World Police, LOL), but heed this Japan, please aim clear of the Ryugyong Hotel. It has a special place in my heart.

The article mentioned that the U.S. was behind the possibility, which is no shock. We've wanted a piece of North Korea ever since Mr. Man declared them an Axis of Evil member. Then they were relegated to being an Outpost of Terror... I suppose Den of Inequity is around the corner.

Anyway, no big shock we're nudging Japan to go for it, kinda like urging your friend to moon the teacher. I mean, look how well our pre-emptive war went! Operation Spic n' Span has resulted in WMD's falling out of proverbial closets, a quick rebuilding reminiscent of Mary Poppin's home brand magic, and most importantly, no hard feelings! Japan, be the kid who learn vicariously.

Anyway, it got me thinking how dangerous this concept is... pre-emptive strike. A very slippery slope. But also, it's like the next wave of war -- of which I have coined several terms -- Domino Domination, Eminent-er Domain (in honor of Mr. Man himself), or War It Forward, which I borrowed from the movie Pay It Forward.

Basically, we beat up Japan in WWII. Now they war it forward to N. Korea. We beat up Iraq. Twice. Now they can prepare to war it forward to Iran. It's a topple-down campaign to honk off all those nasty people we just don't like looking at us that way. Then we can eventually invade ourselves because we can't stand looking at the face in the mirror. It has a certain poetic justice, huh?

So that's my prediction for future wars. Now, all you politicos, pundits, paupers, pirates, puppets, poets, pawns, and kings, listen up! Don't be trying to comment all serious-like on this post. I clearly have no basis for intelligent debate but my own twisted sense of reality! If you come at me with researched facts and how-dare-yous, you'll make a grown man cry. Just laugh and tell me how funny you think I am. As you pet my hair.


The Laughorist said...

youdaman, Mr. Trueman (as opposed to Mr. Truman or Mr. Man). I have no feckin idea what I'm tawkin about.

Allie D. said...

Well, as someone who has been studying this situation with great length, I can only say that I am quite qualified to debate you on the innumerable merits of taking out said Asian Man in high-heels.

But nevermind that. I'd rather talk to you about colooooor, as it is more than the reflecting and refracting of waves of light...



Robert said...

You have know idea how pre-emptive. Loose Change