Snakes and Ladders

So this weekend was the big viewing of Snakes on a Plane, and may I just say, it was as ri-donk-ulous as I had hoped it to be!!

Pre-movie, Aaron and I donned our favorite SoaP shirts, which as it turns out, were inverse colors. Was it fate or just good taste in colors? And was this an omen of things to come?

We hooked up with my fiance, Rasmus, and Smartens at the theater, into which I confiscated my camera. I had hoped for a large cardboard display or even a poster for the movie, but alas, none were in sight. But hey, that's the price you pay for Snakes at a Matinee.

I decided once the movie started that I would try to sneak some pictures! Some of them turned out okay, but sadly, the screen was too dark during the snake shots, so I couldn't get any good ones. The theater was about a third full, but certainly populated with devout and eager fans. We sat in old school boy-girl-boy-girl-boy style. Smartens brought gummy worms (smile).

Thin plot. Bad jokes. Lots of snakes. Samuel L. Jackson yelling all the time and being a bad muthafuckah. And the best part ever, the snake-o-vision! We got to see parts of the flick from the snake POV! Hilarious! The deaths were over the top and quite laugh-out-loud outrageous. Snakes attacking genital areas (either during sexual intercourse or while using the toilet), faces mangled, arms engourged with venom, and the massive boa constrictor that ate a passenger... or at least his head! LOL

Everyone laughed at the bad jokes and cheered at Sam's arrival, ass-kickery, and of course, his out-of-nowhere delivery of "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MUTHAFUCKIN SNAKES ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN PLANE!! Right there, worth the price of admission.

It was so wrong that it had to be right. The movie was bad in a good way! And the best part was during the credits, there was this horrible music video, and Samuel L. Jackson makes a cameo appearance, wearing the exact same SoaP shirt I had!! Mind you, there are easily 30 different designs out there.

Afterward, we had a movie debrief at Steak n' Shake, where we proceeded to spoof the movie to no end. Shakes on the Plains (Midwest), Snakes on a Plate (spaghetti), Snake in my Pants (figure that one out yourself), etc.

And hey, don't mock my camera skills for cutting out Rasmus over there <--. They all posed when I was trying to get a shot of the sign overhead... my apologies Rasmatic for half your likeness. Hopefully it was his better half. So that about wraps it up! The experience was enjoyable, the movie delivered as expected, and all I got was this lousy muthafuckin awesome shirt! It was all snakes on a plane.


Robert said...

So, when is Samual L. Jackson going to do the remake of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?

Penrick said...

I've been debating whether to go see this or not. I guess if it's pretty crowded, it will be lots of fun. The most important part will be to go out after and rank on it as if we were forced to see it.

Allie D. said...

My second favorite line of the movie was when Jackson was told that the snakes had been sprayed with a pheromone to make them crazy, he said:

"That's just great. Snakes on CRACK!"


It was pretty good. I was hoping it would have been more over the top, but I had a good time. Bart and I cracked up repeatedly.

Army said...

Robert, the only thing more campy than an original movie like SoaP is a remake B movie! Perhaps you are onto a new phenomenon??

Penrick, my friend Allie has a spot-on review of the movie on her blog. LOL, it's not a bad idea to say you were held at ticket-point to see the movie if you want to save face, LOL... I personally had to own my choice like the fool I am! Welcome to my site : )

Allie, that was a great line I missed! I almost entitled my entry Snakes Gone Wild, due to the pheremone madness, but it felt too played. So I went for the obscure child's game reference instead.

Anonymous said...

Since the day you told me you and Aaron (I didn't know that your fiance, Rasmus, and Smartens were going, too), I couldn't wait to read your commentary on SoaP. I knew that no matter how good/bad the movie was, you would have a GREAT time!

I can't wait to meet our future daughter-in-law, but I sure wish we'd found out somewhere other than on your blog. Please give her a kiss from us.

Love the shirts!