My Alter Id

If you've read this blog for a spell, you know that I have been locked in a farcical duel with Mutha Nature. We just don't see eye to hurricane eye...

And speaking of which, there's tropical storm Chris. Hey, I finally have my monikered comeuppance, right? I'll be almost famous, yeah? Well, notsomuch. I began to realize by the headlines that this was just another way that Mutha is thumbing her nose at me! I've deluded myself to believe she is mocking my life through this weathered phenomenon.

Chris is a mere tropical storm that showed potential to be a hurricane, but lacked the motivation and force to carry it through. Now Chris has sunk into a depression!

- "...Chris weakened into a depression on Friday morning..."

- "...[Chris may] strengthen again but wouldn't go much farther than that."

- "There were no reports of major damage elsewhere in the Caribbean from Chris..."

Okay, so the last one doesn't fit, but I'm sure I could tease out a metaphor if I had the motivation. Oh, that makes me depressed...

But seriously, I've concerned myself because I actually lost a pound. I know people fluctuate, but if you've seen me eat, you'd wonder how I even maintain my weight. Is it stress? Perhaps. I'm a worrywort by nature. And I do believe I've been sustained many years by the ebb and flow of energy that I like to think of as a healthy bipolar condition, a cyclothymia. Maybe this is my tropical depression season? Of course, it doesn't help that I'm taking offense to the climate, even in a joking way. Freud would have some things to say about that.

So maybe this story is a true metaphor I see in myself. It's time to remotivate myself, build up my energy, and cause some major hurricane-style damage... to an all-you-can-eat buffett!

4 comments:

Matt-Man said...

Maybe you're just shrinking and the weight loss is in proportion to the loss in height

Allie D. said...

Oh Chris Chris Chris... You need to be making three-four weekly trips to The Custard Cup followed by several daily servings of raw egg yolks and 8 weeks on Rex Qwondo's 8-week plan. ;)

I understand, though, and Iwon't say that I "envy" your ability to remain svelte despite what you eat, because as they say- the grass is always greener. You have a super fast metabolism, it's hot out there, and you've been sweating a lot- that probably has a lot to do with it. Just remember, come winter- don't skimp on the holiday cookies. And if you want, Iron Gouda will post some of her most fattening pasta dishes- EVER. hahahahaha

Loves ya.

Allie

PS- My hurricane has come and gone- years ago. I remember it as a child and it was only like a Category 2 or 3. Fuckin nature...

jbwritergirl said...

I suppose it's better than an optional headline:

Chris blows everyone off.

Army said...

Matt-man, a good theory. Looks like my burgeoning basketball career may be slowly ending...

Allie, yes! Rex Qwondo is perfick! No one will talk trash to me while wearing 'these bad boys' will they? Bring on the Iron Gouda Dishes of Extreme Weight Gain and Delite! And hey, at least you got a hurricane...

Jbwritegirl, thanks for looking at the bright side! That headline might hit too close to home after all. And welcome to my blog! I've visited your site via Bestest Blogs...congrats on your Blog of the Day recognition!!