It's Not Spring, It's Revenge.

So our good friend Karma has been talking to Mother Nature, and she's been telling about my recent bad-mouthing of mother dearest. I complained about the lack of spring, and so Mom got back to me...or rather, back AT me.

She turned nature against me! First, there was the cranky ol' robin cussing me out. Now I have ants building, not a colony, but an Empire under my garage! They have catacombs all over the place. I'm half-expecting to come home and they've carried off the entire garage. There are weeds all over the yard and sprouting up through my driveway. And every day, the grass gets longer and longer, reaching out to me with its green tentacles of chloroplastic doom. And don't even get me started on seasonal allergies!

Army says "Be careful what you ask for." The sweetest revenge is a wish come true.