Mental Manufactory: The Bird Bath

I have thunk up plenty of ridiculous inventions. Some of them are absolutely out of control, while others could actually work...some of them barring legal issues, of course. For example, my Hush, Little Baby child sedative spray would be a best seller, if not for the legal and ethical issues of knocking out your children with a spritz of ether or liquified Ambien.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to share some of those ideas along with any rough schematics I have penned. I offer up one of my favorites in the first installment of Army's Mental Manufactory -- i.e., the kookiness that is created inside Chris's head.

If you have ever gone to a restaurant that focuses on drinking, they may have a big party drink. I've heard of the shark bowl or fire hydrant, which as you might image, is a big vessel brimming with booze. I thought it would be clever to wheel out a bird bath, complete with a plastic bird, and have long straws that your party could sip from.

I offer you, The Bird Bath:

I think I'd change the advertising slogan by removing the line: Big mess. It flows a little better. Then I could implement these in my outdoor garden-themed restaurant called Manic Mondays or my sorority/fraternity themed restaurant chain called Phi Pi Chi Psi. Haven't decided yet. But those, my friends, are for another post : )


Allie D. said...

Okay, I loves it, but what's your special fomula of booze and mixers in the bird bath? Oh, and can I just have one for myself?

Also, for some reason while thinking about cool drinks, etc in innovative containers I was reminded of The Bucket at this local pizza place. 5 different kinds of rum and a splash of fruit punch. In a BUCKET! Rock on.

And on to desert, I am reminded of the "messy sundae" or whatever it is they have at Champps where they dip that big wine glass in fudge before commencing with the whole ice cream deal.

Oh horrid mess. Oh heaven.

Jonathan said...

I so love the buckets Allie! I had 3 in Hilton Head and thought I could walk on water. I couldn't.

Army, the bird should be made of fruit like Cheeseburger in Paradise. You need a little bit o something in your stomach after you've drank your body weight in liqour.

What's next? The Swimming Pool? Oh and how about Phi Psi Chi Chi's?

Army said...

Allie, well, we'd have standard booze options with clever names, like, Bird Doodie or Rockin Robin or Dirty Bird or Splish Splash.

Or maybe we'll fill it with rot gut and grog and charge loads for it!

Jonathan, great idea with an edible bird! But like I said, you have to wait on Phi Pi Chi Psi until another post : )

mr. F said...

Imagine drinking a cocktail with bird poop foating around.. Like those ice creams with pieces of chocolate in them. Lovely.

Robert said...

Whatever is in a Birdbath it'll be one heck of a hangover.