Mental Manufactory: A Stiff Drug Cocktail

Does your work or personal life require overexertion of emotional investment? Do you feel under-aroused when listening to others? Can you simply not get it up for other people when you need to?

Performance fatigue is not your fault. If it isn’t one thing, then by god, it’s another. Yes, tell me again how smart your child is. No, I didn’t realize that was every detail of your afternoon, but please continue. Sure, I want to hear all about the melodrama that is your train-wrecked life.

You no longer have to suffer in head-nodding silence. Ask your doctor about Liagra.

Liagra is a medical miracle that lifts your spirits, engorges your attention-focus areas, and brings to your lips the phoniest smile you could ever muster. Now you can achieve the erect emotional wherewithal you have always wanted without the mental fatigue of putting your mind into it. And the best part is, no one has to know you are faking your “Oh?” face.

Side effects may include making your face stick that way and inexplicable death. If your over-interest in other people persists for more than eight hours, consult your doctor immediately. Liagra should not be taken if you are emotionally imbalanced or Tom Cruise (which is partially redundant).


Boring and tedious people are everywhere. And as of now, killing them is still illegal. But that doesn’t mean you should have to fake your arousal on your own. Just a little white Liagra is all you need. It will be our secret.

Liagra is endorsed by Allcock and Dickerson.

2 comments:

Allie D. said...

LMAO! Fuck man, I think Tom Cruise should be Liagra's spokesperson!

It's nice to see Allcock and Dickerson back and at 'em again. :)

Army said...

Serially, who can get too much of Allcock and Dickerson?