Creative Itch

Recently I've been locked into a creative prison of sorts. I have felt inspired to paint and write and perform spoken word, but nothing coherent has been coming out. It's as if I can look outside at the freedom of expression, but I'm being kept away from it by forces unknown.

I should stop betching about it and just create things, even if they suck. But there is a trick to finding inspiration from the writing on Six Feet Under or blasting the powerful tunes of Beck and Thom Yorke -- they're creative geniuses becomes this unattainable quality, separated by a great divide of my talent and theirs. But why am I comparing myself to them? And why am I comparing raw expression to a "completed" and refined work? Cuz I'm thinking like a doody-head. And I'm convinced bloggers are mostly people who have to express their feelings as the experience them, as a kind of mental sketchpad to work out a solution... like the Wile E. Coyote Acme Blueprint for Certain Failure.

And come to think of it, he is a role model in his own bumbling way. He was blown up, shot down, dropped of cliffs, suspended in midair (just for torture and effect), and conked on the head with all manner of blunt heavy objects. And he persisted.

Back to the old drawing board...

5 comments:

Vicki said...

Army, don't feel badly. Most composers, writers, etc. have blocks from time to time. I think you've done an EXCELLENT job. Don't be so hard on yourself, and certainly don't compare yourself to anyone else. You are unique! If anything, THEY should be comparing themselves to YOU! You're my "special boy"...

Adva Steiner said...

I like your blog...and your creativity. I think sometimes the people that we compare ourselves to might give us insight into what we think we can do.....or maybe what we see in ourselves that we can't access at this moment. Just a thought....

Allie D. said...

I think Adva makes an interesting point. I know that over time, my creative strengths have shown up in places I never imagined they would when I was younger. I still think I'm fighting to be someone I'm not, at least in a creative sense... One day, I'm hoping to be firmly comfortable with the skills I have and put them to good use... I know that you have so many gifts, and you will find the proper channels for them... Express yourself in any way that feels right for you at that moment.

Natalia said...

Ummm I do find that I break through the creative blahs by keeping at it. I said to someone else today, "Writing begets writing." Even if it's crap, I keep at it. And eventually he genius stuff gets through :) *here's hoping your muse wakes up*

-N

Army said...

You all make good points. It is good to go with inspiration, to let loose of inhibitions, and see what is created. Later you can sift through it all and make some sense of it.

There wouldn't be creativity without some frustration thrown in for good measure! Keeps things lively : )