Frolfing in the Woods

Sounds dirrty, don't it? Well it was - figuratively! For those of you not in the know (Gregor and Frisbee Girl, back me up on this one), frolf is not just a scandalous sounding word conjuring up all sorts of connotations, it's also a nickname for Disc Golf or Frisbee® Golf. Yes, golf with a frisbee!

This game is sweet. There are frolf courses all across the nation. There are differently kinds of discs -- driver, medium range disc, and putter. They kinda petered out on the middle one, didn't they? I like to call them the longwood, iron shaft, and putter -- cuz its dirrrrtay!

As you may imagine, I am no longer a frolf virgin. And I lost my frolfinity with none other than my Feyonce... and another woman! We threw LP into the mix because we just frolf that way. We headed out to Kickapoo State Park because it features a 9-hole course. They don't have regulation holes and we were using regular throwing discs, but it was a good way for us to break in the action.

Basically, you hurl and toss a disc toward a post with the goal of hitting it. There's a lot of flicking, flinging, finger and wrist action going on. In regulation, they have these baskets that remind me of a medieval torture dungeon and that game we all played at recess that was really boring. But at Kickapoo, they just had wood posts. I have to say they did provide some challenges on the course (no sand traps or bear traps, mind you), but plenty of variety to spice up the holes.

For golfers out there, it's all about a good lie. Stay on the fairway. Same's true for frolf, or a penalty "stroke" is in order for a slice or hook into the woods. And I think each of us stroked it good at least once. And of course, because it frolf, we want a good lay, not a good lie. In fact, I once exclaimed, "That's a HOT lay!" And I had to mention a few times that I was putting from the rough. We loved it! I think that was right after we caught this guy peeing in the bushes. He and his friend hauled a cooler of beers and proceeded to have a round or three, which I'm sure induced the call of nature. It's high society on the frolf course!

And LP loved to yelp when she threw a good or bad one. "I'm a screamer!" she pointed out. Ridonkulous! After a dodgy first 9, we sat down for some lunch. As you can see, I wore a yellow shirt. And not that the food didn't attract them, but the bees were flocking to my hues. More than likely, they say something big and yellow and thought they found their Queen. Not a far stretch of truth. The whole truth is that not only am I the Queen, I'm a bee charmer!

Second round saw a great improvement on my part. We even had interference from some children straying from nearby picnics. My favorite was Zack, this little guy about 3-4 years old who would literally catapult for the frisbee when it landed and try to throw it. It was a true Zack Attack! I noted my lay and let him take a few, giving him words of encouragement. We all must do our part to encourage future generations of frolfers. He did this twice during our 18 holes. After the second time he ran off and called back to me, "You guys be good!" Classic! And then there was the young feller with the rat tail. No foolin. Possibly the only thing worse than a mullet is the rat tail. The rat tail requires intentionality, not just a lack of making a good choice. The mullet may be a faux pax, but the rat tail is just wrong.

After two rounds, we decided to stop by Kickapoo Landing, which is a boat dock and restaurant on the lake. When we pulled in and I saw the green school bus with the trailer of canoes, it reminded me of the summer camp I never attended. So I coined the locale Camp Heywoodjablowmee. I'm so adult. We laughed about it and checked out some of the water-bound activities. Apparently, paddling and canoe-dling are just a few tastes of fun one can experience at Camp Heywoodjablowmee. But there are limits, yes. NO MORE THAN 3 alcoholic bevs per adult allowed on the watercrafts. Should we encourage the marriage of boozing and boating? Is this a new tandem sport? Are we going to legitimize every activity as a new sport or something? Like frolf, right?

Serially though, don't knock it (up) until you've tried it. In fact, Feyonce and I are buying some frolf clubs, practice our putting and hitting the driving range, and who knows -- join the Frolfing Illini?


Robert said...

I believe that the medieval torture device that the Frolf hole/baskets reminded you of are called Gibbets. I know some people who are members of the PDGA. We have the first disc golf course in Wisconsin here in Sheboygan County at Volrath Park.

the fiance said...

I can't stop thinking about the sweet frolf-on-frolf action. I plan to fondle a lot of discs to find just the right one to score a hot lay. AND, think about how great it will be when our threesome becomes a foursome. Whew! I'm getting all tee'd up just thinking about it!

Allie D. said...

Aww, I'm surprised Gregor hasn't chimed in yet. He's been looking for a frolfing partner.

Army said...

Yes Robert, that's the torture device! I did a google search, but gave up because I didn't know the proper name.

Fiance, I can't wait for our forgy of frolfing fun!

Allie, I don't think Gregor even READS my blog anymore, let alone comment on it!

Anonymous said...

Aww, I'm embarrassed. Don't feel bad, Chris - I've been neglecting my reading duties toward everyone lately; it's not just you. I really can't even complain that I'm busy - I'm just distracted by this, that, and the other thing, depending on which day of the week it is.

Anyway, I'm here now. And yes, you and I need to go disc golfing together sometime. I've been desperate to find someone to accompany me on my excursions. It's so boring going alone, and now that school's back in session, I'm practically the only person who shows up at the park, as was the case today.

Glad you found it enjoyable. And dude, if there goes another stretch of time where I'm not commenting, just buzz me with an e-mail. I really do like your blog. It's not that I don't care, I'm just lazy.

Peace, Love, and Frisbees,

Army said...

Oh Gregor, I kid! I've been quite a slacker in blogging and commenting myself here of late. I just had to josh ya!

I'm all about going for some frolfing, man! Know any good courses in between us (I guess Chicagoland)?

Allie D. said...

Chris- You never comment on my blog anymore. I get no love from you.

Oh, I know what you'll say: "Pick yourself up, lass. Stop whinging."

Well it hurts, okay? It hurts!!

Gregor said...

I need to whittle down my blogroll so it's not as daunting of a task for me to read blogs. I hate to do it, because I always want to show appreciation for those who have supported me, but still. It also doesn't do much for the readers when all the good blogs are watered down by twenty not-so-good blogs.


I know a disc golf course that is south of me, meaning it is between the two of us. Admittedly, it is north of Chicago. How does Oak Creek sound? :P

Mom said...

Son, remember what I always told you, practice 'safe' frolfing...