Recent Conversation

Army: "So I'm attracted to the guy that works at this coffee shop I hang out at. But I'm not sure if he's gay or not."

Bishop: "Just give him a little smack on the butt."

Army: "Well, that would clear things up, for sure!"

Bishop laughs.

Army: "See, he talks to me a lot, but he does that with everyone who comes in. Although he seems to take a special interest in me when I'm on the phone or with someone else. What do you make of that?"

Bishop: "This is pretty difficult, actually. It's not like you can invite him to join you for a cup of coffee. He already works at a coffee house."

Army laughs: "You're so right. I don't think I can crack this case. Maybe that butt smack wasn't such a bad idea..."


Bubz The Troll said...

Ambiguously friendly people are difficult to gauge. I encounter the same problem with women except it is more of a "are they single and interested in me or taken and just trying to get bigger tips" type of thing.

If Billy Graham and his fundamentalist ilk are to be believe all gay people are part of a secret society bent on turning all hetero's gay for the dark lord Satan. So where's you secret hand shake so you can recognize each other when your gaydar is down?

I say smack his ass. He might like it even if he isn't gay.

Zeke said...

ask him for his number, duh

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Just ask him if he likes to play "buff the bishop."

Army said...

Bubz - we definitely need to work out a system, that's for sure. This ambiguity is killing me!

Zeke - that would be the logical course of action. Problem is, it's easier said than done, especially if he's straight. For someone who shies away from social embarrassment, well, that's quite a barrier. I'm a wuss!

Pawlie - you may have found the perfick line for me! I think I'll use that one next time... LOL

Allie D. said...

If you ever engage in regular casual conversation, just throw in an off-the-cuff phrase like "that reminds me of this guy I dated" or something like that just to see what kind of reaction you get. If he's gay, he might just commiserate with you. :)