NOAA Meets Noah

So, we've had some weather lately.

Well, we have weather every day, I imagine. But lately, it's been, like, more than just weather. It's been weather!

Mutha Nature has been nice this spring and summer so far. Temps haven't been crazy and we've had no big storms. But this week, well, she's a bit more nasty.

Like two nights ago, I woke up to what I could only describe as the belief that paparazzi were outside my window snapping photos of me in bed. Don't ask why I decided to pose and pout. My motives are my own. But what it actually ended up being was a lightning light show akin to Laser Floyd or something. And then the wall of water came down.

And more downpours last night. I half-expected Noah to row by, and in fact thought I saw an elephant lounging upon an arc, but it was just a big dude in a moving truck. Mistakes.

And then there was the hail storm. Which literally came on the heels of a discussion at work in which I expressed I didn't believe in the tenants of Christianity and shared my general displeasure with organized religion. Like part of the discussion, the heavens opened up, and it was almost End Times. I had my eye out for Kirk Cameron to show up, but bullet dodged.

Speaking of bullets, the onslaught of marble sized hail was pounding against our House of Cards, which we expected to cave in at any second. Worst of all, my dear Andrew was helplessly left to his own devices in the Shuttle Parking Lot on the Other Side of the World. I was fretting that I'd find him to be a pile of scrap metal, but nary a ding or dent. Every cloud, a silver lining.

Then again, Andrew recently received a safety recall in which the car could quite literally lose control at any given moment, so that's fun. I'm motoring in a zoom-zoom deathtrap until next Wednesday. Perhaps I could make it death proof?

This post has no structure whatsoever. Last bit -- the National Weather Service would do well to issue storm warnings and watches before they occur, not so much after. Just a thought, NOAA. Take it as you will...


Allie D. said...

This post had no structure whatsoever, but therein lay its brilliance. I laughed pretty much all the way through it. Particularly at Andrew becoming death proof. LMAO

I am also reminded of the killer thunderstorm that came when I was staying at your place almost a year ago... I think it was the night we went to Ashmore Estates. Good times we had. Hope to do it again soon!

Bubz The Troll said...

Wow! Hollywood really does do that retarded 3 hole punched scripts with only two fasteners!

the ephemerist said...

Such flashy and lambent wit: comparing lightning to paparazzi! Very brilliant. BTW, Wiki "paparazzi"; the word derives from a Fellini movie, as does your post seem to. And, yes, it's ok to end a sentence with a preposition about [but not like that].

The Laughorist said...

Just want you to know my July 12 post paid tribute to your blog; you may've regarded an email I sent as spam. Best,

Army said...

Allie - you are probably one of the few people to get the death proof joke, bless ya.

Bubz - it took me a few minutes to realize what you were talking about! Then I laughed : )

Laughorist/Ephemerist - so many aliases have thee. I'm so thankful for your praise of my blog! Tomorrow I will cart my arse over to yours and catch up on the last few posts... I've been derelict of late.