I Spy With My Little Eye...

Dear Little Miss Hit-n-Run,

Member that parked car you backed into today? Member how you didn't even have the decency to check the damage, sat there in your car for twenty seconds wondering what to
do, and then drove off around the corner?

Having total recall yet? Me too!

Guess what? Time to fess up. Because the sheriff's coming, deputy's got you running, and they've been sent by the Army to getcha. That's right, love. You shouldn't have done it in front of my office window. And on a day I was feeling like a good Samaritan and harbored the notion that justice would prevail in a world of fairness.

BUH-BUH-BUH-BUSTED!

I got your license plate number, color and make of car, and time of incident. And the car you hit belongs to a co-worker of mine. Tsk-tsk, for shame, know your name. Daddy gonna take the T-bird away. Did you have fun fun fun?

And guess what else? The officer gonna hunt you down is named Armstrong. Yes'm, you crossed Armies on two fronts, which is so bad news bears.

Ready or not, here we come. Come out, come out, where ever you are...

Bad girls, bad girls/
Whatcha gonna do?/
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

From the panopticon,
Army

5 comments:

Adva said...

Good job crime fighter! All in a day's work! See how important that window is?!

Bubz The Troll said...

The military police state is watch us all.

Allie D. said...

No one likes a tattle-tale. ;-p

Good work though, serially! I thought for a minute there that Andrew had gotten dinged! I was about to totally freak out!

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Sadly, I once did something like that when I was around 16; panicked. Or cowarded. Or both. Haunted me. Felt bad. Still do, forty or so years later.

Anonymous said...

I've got one better. Someone wrecked their car one winter, wrote down my license plate (somewhere!) probably because it was a brand new Mustang and they figured I had money, reported it to their insurance, their insurance found mine, I got a call that on such and such day I supposedly hit this chick in the rear end, had to bring in my car to my insurance agency to have it inspected on a work day, had to give a verbal recorded statement that I was at work that day, chewed my nails for a few days wondering if I was going to get sued for something that must have happened in my parallel universe...and then finally, finding out that the accuser refused to give a recorded statement themselves and backed out altogether. Needless to say, my insurance company didn't see one scratch on the new 'stang and went after the accuser...so what goes around comes around, n'est pas? Talk about crazy hit 'n' run stories...

Kelly