I was eating lunch today with Dimitria and Sylvia while talking about all manner of things. Dimitria mentioned that she is the ever-willing wedding crasher, but not in the same sense as these guys. Rather, she is willing to call off a wedding if either the bride or groom gives her the knowing look of "get me the hell outta this!" She said she'll easily go up to the front and announce the show is over, but a disaster was called off, so let's celebrate that recognition at the reception. Love ya, Dimitria!

So it got me thinking about this being a full time job. Remember Will Smith in Hitch? How he would prepare a single person for the perfect date and a chance at happily ever after? I think Dimitria should become his counterpart in relationship unraveling. That's right, Dimitria is Ditch! Mull it over a tick.

Let's all sit back and be honest -- happily ever after may easily come in the form of a dodged relationship bullet. I've known a few people who walked down that aisle with crossed fingers, a heavy heart, and plenty of booze at the open bar afterward. It's not until later they realized "What the fook did I did!?"

A world with Ditch is a Get Out of Jail Free card. No more "it's not you, it's me" or "we are both in different places." Ditch knows what to say and how to say it. "It's been real, we'll look back and laugh on this later, so long, and thanks for all the fish."

Tread carefully, Hitch, for your opposite number has joined the love fray.

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