On Tour

It seems that for the last three weeks, I've been on tour. Or perhaps more accurately my body has been a venue for all manner of rock star illnesses, mystery plagues, and other general cootie-type activity. And one thing is for certain...

I am sick of being sick.

Apparently I'm not the only one. Everyone I talk to tells a story of how their family or office has something nasty travelling around. It's the Dark Passenger, sneaking rides in vehicles that don't want it. Like Marty McFly in Back to the Future hitching tows from passing cars on his skateboard. But I don't find this scenario quite as amusing.

From a sociological perspective, it is rather fascinating how such things spread and survive. One person on an airplane could easily infect 200 other people on their way to dozens of final destinations. Schools, work places, even the doctor's office. How do all those people working at the hospital manage to stay healthy? A built-up tolerance? It hardly matters right now. In light of my intellectual interests, the reality of the last three weeks has left me anything but intrigued. I'm fed up.

The latest incarnation is a severe sore throat that has left me unable to really talk. Perhaps a relief to some, I don't know. But it's painful to swallow, eat, drink, or talk. Very annoying. I'm decked out with remedies: hot tea with honey, organic throat drops, humidifer in my room to keep things "flowing," throat numbing spray, and antibiotics. All the tools of the trade. They have to work. If I have to watch one more f*cking DVD from the sofa, I'm going to pretend to scream!

The one funny side story was when I went to see my D.O. on Friday. The assistant who took me back to the doctor's office (i.e., waiting room #2) was Boyfaux's boyfriend! We recognized each other and were chatting about various things. Man, is he cute. I noticed every detail when he took my pulse. When he measured my weight on the scales. When he took my blood pressure and I slipped my arm out of my sweatshirt. It felt oddly intimate. I wondered if his thoughts ever strayed. I kinda have a crush on both of them now. And why not? Why break up a relationship when I could work the angle on both of them? Right, as if I would ever do such a thing! However, if they made the proposal to me... it would be rude to refuse. I am a gentleman, after all : )

But that will all have to wait for another day. A day when I can abandon the Dark Passenger, find a ship off Leper Island, and find my way back to normalcy. Back to health. My escape is already under way.