Mental Manufactory: Drive-In Theater with Stadium Parking

Intuition is truly born in moments of ah-ha and eureka. I only have to offer up Exhibit A as a fine example of said stroke o' genius -- and that invention of mind is this installment of the Mental Manufactory.

Feast your eyes and brain on the concept at hand -- the drive-in theater with stadium-style parking!


Yeah so, the drawing is not quite to scale, and it looks more like an abandoned rock quarry site... but follow me on this one. The olden days drive-ins are outdated and busted. And we can't likely bring them back because of the dichotomy of automobiles on today's roads. It's a mixture of SUV's and subcompacts, along the spectrum from this big ol' ridonkulous tank to this bitty thing that looks like the Little Tike car from my childhood that my family couldn't afford but I really wanted. Result? Obstructed view of the movie screen. Now, you could raise the screen, but then everyone gets cramps from neck craning because of low profile windshields, etc. Let's save the neck pain for generous hickey recieval, shall we?

And the sweet icing on this delicious cake? Pneumatic tubes (like at the bank) that deliver your snacks from the concession stand. Place your order, swipe your card, and receive your popcorn via those clear plastic capsules with the cool twist open tops. Now, we have to work on transporting soda-pops, but just give me a little more time. I'm sure your mind is sufficiently blown away at the moment.

If this idea's a-rockin, that's cuz it's shockin!

3 comments:

Allie D. said...

Actually that's a perfect idea. Also, it would provide easier views of people making out. lol

Robert said...

Old drive-ins had the rows tilted backwards a bit so that you could sit back in your seat to see the screen.

Modern drive-ins use FM transmitters instead of those tinny monaural AM quality speakers that you hook to your car door. Just tune your radio into the movie.

Who goes to the drive-in to actually watch the movie anyway?

Army said...

Well, perhaps you two found the biggest flaw... going to drive-ins for making out. Hmm... let's see.

We could offer condoms and KY from the concession stand. "Send me some condoms and condiments right away!"

(capsule sucks through the tube)

I just noted how dirrtay that last statement may be...

Maybe I should just call this thing Park n' Porn.